Gerbils resist herding

[Dollyknot]

Go discuss.

[zail]

depending whether snakes are doing the hearding.....

[gryedouge]

This has the makings of an epic thread...let me get my popcorn quickly!!

[SavageD]

nibbles cookie*

[YoDude]

depending whether snakes are doing the hearding.....

Ke-e-e-e-e=rect Sir.

Resistance then is futile.

...a sharp stick in the eye works to some extent as well. :eek:

[skalogre]

This thread SHOULD deliver.

[skalogre]

P.s. why did I immediately think of Apple diehards when I read the thread title?

[Sopwith]

This is important.

http://pettelle.com/blog/tag/gerbil/

[pinsh]

Not if you give them iPhones, they are simple enough for gebrils. They will start using the iPhones and form a herd of fanboys, ahem, fangebrils.

[YoDude]

>> WARNING <<

Thread Hi-jack Alert!

***

A moving clock runs slowly.

...discuss.

[ysss]

because gnu hurds have been elusive all these years?

[jaem]

because gnu hurds have been elusive all these years?

Do you mean "hurd" or "herd"? Darn you, Stallman, and your mutually-recursive acronyms (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hurd)!
On the topic of Gerbils, though, could we maybe work this into the MaeSheep game?

[Konceptz]

Counter Question.

SNL states the opposite of a "gerbil" is a "cougar". So, can I get a cougar herd? (or just 2)

discuss..

[zail]

Maybe this is an update of lemmings?

[skalogre]

Maybe this is an update of lemmings?

"Oh no!"

:D

[Thesandlord]

Cougar the animal, or Cougar the sexy old lady.

Discuss...

[lcuk]

http://yourargumentisinvalid.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/the_cat_is_pushing_a_watermelon_out_of_a_lake.thum bnail.jpg

[skalogre]

http://yourargumentisinvalid.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/the_cat_is_pushing_a_watermelon_out_of_a_lake.thum bnail.jpg

You are my hero.

[SavageD]

Argument proven. The above cat is pushing a watermelon out of a lake. Cats now trying to take over the world? Cats no longer afraid of water? Water + melons a cats best friend? discuss.

[ysss]

The cat is making an example out of that watermelon of what would happen if one to resist herding.

Resistance is futile.

[gryedouge]

The cat is making an example out of that watermelon of what would happen if one to resist herding.

Resistance is futile.


Or quite possible smuggling gerbils... :rolleyes:

[YoDude]

Argument proven. The above cat is pushing a watermelon out of a lake. Cats now trying to take over the world? Cats no longer afraid of water? Water + melons a cats best friend? discuss.

Nope, cats like watermelon more than they fear water.

Behold, the power of watermelons!

[RevdKathy]

But do gerbils like watermelons?

[gryedouge]

Ah! that is the question!! deep, deep...

[Sopwith]

...do gerbils like watermelons?

Interesting suggestion... Still, I doubt anyone would enjoy doing that...

[lcuk]

i think we should setup some empirical testing for this.
we need a government funded study to purchase lots of gerbils and check various forms of herding.

that would require a sheepdog and some other methods

perhaps a placebo would work on them too, we should do these tests double blind, so include vodka in the PO

[RevdKathy]

You may hit problems with the RSPCA or anti-vivsection bodies if you start giving your gerbils vodka, unless it's the very best vodka.

[lcuk]

revdkathy, the vodka was to ensure the test monitors themselves were double blind.
but i kinda like the idea of testing whether drunken gerbils still resist herding

[RevdKathy]

The test monitors would only be double blind if they were drinking double vodkas. That's obvious!

Can a double-blind investigator intoxicate a gerbil by breathing on it? If so, is this a method for herding them?

[Konceptz]

The test monitors would only be double blind if they were drinking double vodkas. That's obvious!

Can a double-blind investigator intoxicate a gerbil by breathing on it? If so, is this a method for herding them?

I believe it's been found ineffective to intoxicate blind gerbils via human oral respiration.

One important, question which remains unanswered, is what part lake plays.

Lake is undetermined and we should consult a local limnologiest, hopefully with some extra background in both feline and agricultural distilling.

/b/

[ysss]

Can anyone share the herding algorithm?

[lcuk]

once the results of the testing have been compiled, the algorithm will be released.
due to some unfortunate incidents involving gerbils being lost along the way testing is taking a little longer than expected.

Also, RevdKathy is looking suspiciously full after Sunday roast.
I wonder what exactly she roasted and whether we can stop looking for the missing gerbils.

[mannakiosk]

Can anyone share the herding algorithm?

There isn't one, per se, but since the random walk algorithm will get at least some of the gerbils where they're going, anyway, the solution is to have a ton of gerbils.

Wikipedia explains (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Random_walk) drunken gerbils and drunken monitors:

Imagine now a drunkard walking randomly in a city. The city is realistically infinite and arranged in a square grid, and at every intersection, the drunkard chooses one of the four possible routes (including the one he came from) with equal probability. Formally, this is a random walk on the set of all points in the plane with integer coordinates. Will the drunkard ever get back to his home from the bar? It turns out that he will.

[Sopwith]

There isn't one, per se, but since the random walk algorithm will get at least some of the gerbils where they're going, anyway, the solution is to have a ton of gerbils.

Wikipedia explains (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Random_walk) drunken gerbils and drunken monitors:

He will only in 2D. In 3D, he never will return to the origin...

PS. And I thought I could get some work done, before you posted that link to Wikipedia...

[ysss]

Ah...

I don't see why we need to complicate the issue so much. I'd say we cross breed gerbils with lemmings and keep those that exhibits the required traits.

ps: If they acquire green hairs, these can be dyed.

pps: I'm all for losing the blue robes.

[Kriek]

Can anyone share the herding algorithm?

Well... for cats - it's a combination of warm milk and slow mice. Apparently watermelon alone will work too ;)

[gryedouge]

once the results of the testing have been compiled, the algorithm will be released.
due to some unfortunate incidents involving gerbils being lost along the way testing is taking a little longer than expected.

Also, RevdKathy is looking suspiciously full after Sunday roast.
I wonder what exactly she roasted and whether we can stop looking for the missing gerbils.

um....sorry that was me...i have this new Sweet Chilli sauce and uh...well...am i going to get into trouble for this or is there an app for that? :(

[RevdKathy]

Not much meat on a gerbil for roasting. Well, not unless you've kept it on a diet of watermelon and vodka for several months.

The alternative is to direct your gerbils by persuasion rather than herding. This works quite well with nursing ewes: pick up the lamb and walk, and the ewe will follow without any trouble at all. No herding needed.

(And Sunday roast was beef, so there).

[mannakiosk]

The alternative is to direct your gerbils by persuasion rather than herding.

Maybe we should take a step back and clearly define each word before we move forward.

I assumed any means of controlling gerbil movement would fall under herding, but I might be mistaken.

Come to think of it. What the heck is a gerbil?

[lcuk]

a gerbil is an evil hamster

[mannakiosk]

a gerbil is an evil hamster

Thank you. That will obviously complicate things further.

[gryedouge]

Thank you. That will obviously complicate things further.

Yup! :rolleyes:

http://media.giantbomb.com/uploads/1/16121/942091-zombie_hamster_super.jpg

[Dollyknot]

yo gerbils

[zail]

that would require a sheepdog and some other methods


Surley "gerbildog" would be more useful in the herding of gerbils? Sheepdog might just stop for a tasty snack....

[glug]

a gerbil is an evil hamster

Hamsters are evil gerbils. Hamsters bite more, aren't as active during the day, are slower, and, in my opinion, aren't as smart. I've had both as pets and I can tell you, Gerbils are more fun, more lovable, nicer, and all around better. Now I'll run from any hamster lovers here...

[lcuk]

Hamsters are evil gerbils. Hamsters bite more, aren't as active during the day, are slower, and, in my opinion, aren't as smart. I've had both as pets and I can tell you, Gerbils are more fun, more lovable, nicer, and all around better. Now I'll run from any hamster lovers here...

now, since your gerbils are all round better and you have experience with them.

do gerbils resist herding?

[glug]

now, since your gerbils are all round better and you have experience with them.

do gerbils resist herding?

Yes, they do resist herding... to a point. Adult gerbils will run from you, but they dart toward enclosed spaces and will turn around and try to run past you. It can be hard to herd a gerbil down even an enclosed area like a hall, because the gerbil will go under door cracks and when it gets cornered try to run past you. It isn't hard to catch them, but it can be hard to get them to go where you want.

In the open, forget it. You can't herd a gerbil in the open.

Gerbils have been known to attack snakes and other predators, I believe. They don't attack people very much, but will sometimes bit if caught while scared (like after chasing/herding them).

Young gerbils (1-3 weeks) resist herding much like adults, but they're much slower and don't react as quickly, so they're easier to round up. However, they do fit in smaller places and if you loose one, it can be difficult to find it. Adult gerbils are easy to find (at least if lost inside) since gerbils are naturally curious and will come out of hiding quickly if it is quite. Baby gerbils will wait hours before they come out.

Gerbils can also jump rather high and if cornered will sometimes jump over you. I had one once jump onto my arm, off it, and scurry away. So they can resist herding in this way too.

Gerbils are not like sheep either and don't stick together when traveling. I have noticed they roughly stay in the same area and will usually eventually come back together, but if aloud to run free they will do in different directions and don't stay together in packs. When startled, they gerbils will run in random directions (won't stay together like sheep or schooling fish) so a "gerbil dog" or other herding animal wouldn't be very effective with gerbils.

That's about the best answer I can give. Short answer: yes, they resist herding.

[smegheadz]

gerbils hate joe cartoon

use tinfoil hats which pick up gps signals for them to follow.
put lady gerbil in a short skirt after getting other gerbils drunk and they will follow the lady gerbil.

[verumgero]

http://img.youtube.com/vi/m904SQBfCBI/0.jpg

Guinea Pigs like watermelon . . .

[lcuk]

glug, perhaps as smeg said, you are just using a stick instead of offering a carrot.

[ysss]

Wait, where are we herding them to again?

[YoDude]

What happened to the dang cat!

[SavageD]

interesting...perhaps the cat is the gerbil herder. hmmmm yes yes I see it now....no doubt the watermelon was actually filled with gerbils and the cat was simply herding the gerbil filled melon to another lake.
whilst drunken monitors looked on...