Guys, guys, it's okay. I know you're all confused, but you see, this is all really simple. All the N950s and N9s should have been given to me. Why? Cuz I said so. But mistakes were made. Devices went to people other than me. I didn't even apply (because, let's face it, I'm too awesome to submit sumissions and stuff, but I admit one of my biggest flaws is to forget how hard it is for others to see my greatness sometimes), and because of this, I cannot blame anyone involved for not remembering they should've sent the devices to me instead.

You all have my forgiveness, both those of you who failed to send me your devices and those of you who fail to see why I should have them. It's okay. Shhh. Everything's going to be fine. Now let's all move on to productive things.