Thought I'd try to answer my own question.

The answer isn't a surprise (now I've learned a bit more about Maemo 5).I had no real hope it'd work, but you learn trying, right?

Thanks to the wonderful Nathan, I setup the Maemo 5 SDK via his VPC image on an XP Notebook

See these threads
http://talk.maemo.org/showthread.php?t=32537
http://talk.maemo.org/showthread.php?t=31141

I downloaded the Garnet VM for OS2008 and an 810 device inside the Maemo 5 emulator in Zephyr. I installed it from the file having found this:
http://wiki.maemo.org/Documentation/...cation_Manager

I got the following error: "Unable to install 'garnet-vm'.
Incompatible application package."

As I say, no suprise, but I had to give it a go just in case. Sometimes my bursts of wild/desperate optimism pay off. I'll now see if I can find someone at Access that's prepared to answer questions from a complete stranger!