That's quite a list you have there. Since you're already asking so much, let's just go ahead and ask for more!

So, devs..

We'd like:

- Girlfriend answerer (picks up and says, "how was your day?, uh huh, no she didn't"
- candy dispenser
- voice modulation
- background sound effects (so you can pretend you can't hear... "I'm sorry! I'm at the game, I can't hear you over the crowd!"