Here here... I see the bloodletting has already commenced in Finland. God help their poor, starving souls, quaking in fear together in the shadows hiding away from the piercing, furiously blazing eye of Sauron which stares down even while perched across the world in Redmond, Washington, where Balmer polishes and clutches onto the balding heads of upper management at Mount Microsoft.

....aaaand the snark is back.