So i know people do not like my so called bashing and more like "water and wetness" and "boat" topics. So i listened to you and here is my input:

So it's raining really hard. There's a fundamental Christian living beside a river and it starts to flood. The sheriff's deputies come by and tell him he should leave before the river cuts off the road.

"The Lord will save me," he tells them.

The river is up to the front porch and the some folks come by in a boat and tell him to hop in and they'll take him to safety.

"The Lord will save me," he tells them.

The water rises above the first floor and the man has to climb on his roof. The National Guard comes by in a boat and begs the man to come with them.

"The Lord will save me," he tells them.

The waters keep rising and the man is clinging to his chimney. A helicopter appears and lowers a rope, but he refuses to go, telling them "The Lord will save me."
Finally he is standing on top of the chimney and the river is still rising.

"Lord," he calls out, "Lord, why have you forsaken me?"

The sky splits open and a HUGE voice booms out... "I sent two boats and a helicopter... What more do you want?"