Ok, aside from making a bunch of mildly obscene girlie jokes: this really is my problem.

I can buy a fancy smartphone: it will spend a chunk of its battery searching for a non-existent signal (not even in my kitchen, most of the time), but I can basically keep the internet connection turned off, so it doesn't kill itself, and I can still pick up an sms or even a scratchy call on what little signal there is. And if I want net access, I can either a) check I'm in a decent signal area before connecting or b) use the home wifi if I'm at home.

If I buy an n900, my understanding is that I can't separate telephone connection from internet connection. And something tells me that an n900 left in my office (intermittent phone access, internet if you stand in the corner and wave it around your head) will kill itself pinging to connect.

It that correct? Or can I leave the phone on and the net off? Or will it simply accept that I'm out of range?

I guess the bigger question is: is this a device only for people in big cities or could it become something for us country types?

Telephone connection and 3G or GPRS internet connection are separate.
You can tell the phone to go connect automatically whenever 3G or GPRS are available but it doesn't do so by default.
Whether you want to have WiFi, 3G, or be offline is totally your choice.

Thank you! I've been worrying about that for ages. If I can leave the phone on at all times and the GPRS/3g only on demand, that puts it back onto my list!

Right now I'm looking at two options: a smart phone that will do exactly what I want out of the box, but has hardware I'm wary of (capacitive screen, no keyboard and unknown camera lens/software) and the n900 which won't do everything I want right away (and may never do some of it) but which has almost unlimited potential and the right hardware. Ironing out little niggles like that helps me decide.