Hmm. I'm running a much older release of Asterisk than you. (1.2.18).
From the Asterisk CLI do a sip debug and see if there's any other information in the messages coming from the N900. Also try dialing your N900 from the CLI and see if that works. (Rule out any issues between sip endpoints.)
I read somewhere that realm will default to Asterisk if not set. I tried setting it now though and it didn't change anything. I did open a ticket for this, even though others have gotten it working. The ticket is on https://bugs.maemo.org/show_bug.cgi?id=6641
i needed canreinvite=no and nat=yes, to get it to work to talk with another sip client (fritzbox).
my problem never was that i cant connect to the other sip telephone, the problem was that i either can hear the other party or talk to the other party
Edit:
as i stated before, i can connect to the asterisk server if i connect to my local wlan. (without openvpn) if i connected to umts or another wlan and the only connection to my network is openvpn i can't connect to the asterisk server.
So I was never successful connecting the N900 to asterisk at all. I do use openvpn for other soft-phones though. Very handy when you are out traveling and you are on the hotel's LAN.
I had to add a general localnet parameter to the VPN subnet in sip.conf for this to work though.
(He's talking about asterisk running on N900 itself)
I just got permission to upload files to extras-devel this morning, so watch for the package in the next day or so. I'm not sure how long it takes to be available after I upload.